Are You Sending the Message You Want to Send?
You’ve probably come upon some variation of the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote – “Your actions speak so loudly, I can not hear what you are saying.”
When it comes to speaking in public, leading teams or even having a personal conversation, we communicate a great deal about how we are feeling and thinking through non-verbal cues.
Most of the time we are not actually aware of the fact that, no matter our words, we may be sending a very strong message of confusion, fear, angst, doubt, self-importance or disinterest. Now, of course the good news is that we also be sending messages of authority, love, kindness, empathy and trust.
It’s one of the reasons why emails are often misinterpreted. We get so good at understanding through cues when someone is teasing, being sarcastic or genuinely trying to help.
The key is to become aware of the non-verbal things we do, quite often out of habit and deeply engrained thought patterns, so that we choose cues that allow us to communicate our true intent.
My guest for this week’s episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is Dr. Nick Morgan, one of America’s top communication theorists and coaches and author of Give a Speech Change the World, Trust Me and Power Cues: The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, and Maximizing Your Personal Impact
Morgan has made a career out of helping speakers and executives break through some of their deeply held beliefs in an effort to more effectively lead, communicate and influence.
Let me quickly point out that none of this work has anything to do with using non-verbal cues as a way to manipulate. Morgan’s work and teachings are all about being your best self by bringing your words and actions together so that you are more clearly understood and heard.
For example, if you’re in a leadership position and it’s not something you’ve always been comfortable with, you may be sending that signal to those you are charged to lead by the way you stand and speak.
Once you become aware of the ways people send cues, you may also be more equipped to read cues sent by others. Imagine listening to a potential client’s concerns through this filter. You may likely be able restart a conversation when you better appreciate what a prospect is really saying by reading visual clues along with words.
Power Cues is a fascinating guide into the subtle and not so subtle things many people do to mix and confuse their message.
Pick this book up today and start becoming much more aware of the message your body sends and you’ll be much more prepared to be heard.