No one can tell you how to feel right now.

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Well, the last few months have thrown us all for a loop; that’s for sure.

And now this, another chapter, one of unrest, undoubtedly related to the fear, hopelessness, and divisiveness brought on by heightened overwhelm of a pandemic.

Yes, riots and protests, sparked by another senseless death of a black man at the hands of a white police officer, are the logical boiling reaction to so many pent-up feelings and emotions.

And now, once again, as has been the case over the last few months, everyone wants to tell us how we should feel.

You can log on to Facebook and jump on one of the countless live broadcasts telling you how to feel. You can microdose on the news telling you how to feel, or you can overdose on the headlines and amplify those feelings beyond rational capacity.

So, what are you feeling?

Maybe it’s anger or frustration. Perhaps it’s fear and uncertainty. Maybe it’s turned to guilt because, you know, you’ve stayed silent for too long.

Don’t worry if you’re confused; people will tell you how to feel.

People will tell you to rise up, people will tell you to chill out, people will tell you that whatever you do, whatever you are thinking, it’s not enough.

But here’s the thing – only you can find and understand your truth.

I don’t know what you’re dealing with because:

  • See, I had two loving parents who provided me with a fantastic childhood – maybe you didn’t
  • I never wondered once where my next meal was coming from – maybe you did
  • I never had to work so my parents could keep the lights on – maybe you had to
  • I always felt incredibly safe in my home and my neighborhood – maybe you didn’t
  • I assumed I could go to any school I wanted – maybe you couldn’t
  • I can’t ever remember feeling unwelcome somewhere – maybe you can
  • I’ve never been pulled over by a police officer to see if I had a gun in the car – perhaps you have

The point is that our feelings are our feelings, our actions are our actions, and we must deal with them – we must own them and act accordingly.

The only thing we cannot do is feel nothing at all.

We are all in a big fat storm in an untamed sea, granted we are in many different boats in that storm, but navigate with our entire being we must.


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