One of the lessons I learned in writing The Referral Engine is that one of greatest reasons people don’t ask for referrals is fear.
I often push back on this fear by asking if they’ve ever considered that asking for a deserved referral is actually quite a generous act.
I’ve shared the quote below from Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love with lots of people and it seems to mean many different things, but I think it can be taken in the context of this conversation as well. (If the use of the word God offends or threatens, don’t let that be the focus of the message, that’s not my point.)
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So, if you have a fear of asking for referral, or maybe you just don’t want to ask for referrals than don’t – simply give them.
This video is a clip from a Fox Business Show that I did more than a year ago and I think it sums that idea up nicely.